My Story

Twelve is an odd age for any child. On the cusp of teenage glory, usually in the top dogs of “big school”, not realising the swift kick in the teeth secondary school promised, ‘tis strange. For me, being twelve can be surmised in one quick, harmless utterance:

“….Oh.”

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Flying Bi

I am Bisexual. It still feels so weird to say, but that is me. My name is Aoife, and I am bi. Growing up I always thought I was straight, aggressively straight I might add. I don’t think there was a year in my life where I didn’t have a crush on a boy. The first crush I can remember having was when I was six, I liked a boy that lived down the road from me, and everyone knew, literally everyone. Since that one, the only thing I knew was boys. I never thought that being with a girl could be a thing that I could do.               

But then college happened. I found myself only having the small group of friends that I had from secondary school and even still only one of them went to the same college as me. Being the person, I am, slightly awkward in situations I wasn’t comfortable in, I found one person in my course that I got on with, but that wasn’t enough. With some coaxing from my friend who was already a member I joined Out in UL to try and get more involved and basically make some new friends. I must say this is when my college life got significantly better, I learned about different aspects of the LGBTQ+ community, took part in events that I wouldn’t usually take part in, became a committee member and even made some very good friends that I hope to never forget.

You’re still valid. I’m still valid.

If you identify as bisexual, chances are, you’ve gone through a sexuality crisis. And then again. And again. And everyday even after you’ve been out and proud for ages, there’s a sneaky little voice in the back of your head that rings around for hours at a time, bringing anxiety and vulnerability;

“Well, you like [insert opposite gender], you’re not reallllly bisexual.”

Or

“That thing with [insert same gender pronoun] was a fling. That’s all. You’re definitely [insert monosexual orientation].”

Or my personal tormenter;

“Here you are. Too gay for the straights and too straight for the gays, trying to be something you’re not.”

“Gay. Probably gay.”

Hi, my name is Mic and I’m probably gay.
But why bother saying it? Why bother writing about it? I can already hear the “We get it, you’re gay. You don’t have to keep talking about it.”
But the thing is, I do. Somewhere out there, probably in the back arse of nowhere in somewhere like Leitrim (which does actually exist by the way – they got their first set of traffic lights nine months ago) there’s a girl who needs to read that opening sentence. She might be able to relate to my story, and hopefully feel a little more at ease about her own untold story because of it.

Coming Out as Bisexual is an Ongoing Journey

CW: Bi erasure, brief mention of abuse

For me, there is no one coming out “story” to tell, no one defining moment that I can say I was out and proud. Because I am constantly forced to coming out over and over again. I mean, everyone is in a way, you are always meeting new people and joining new social groups. But for me, I come out almost on a weekly basis to my family and friends who should really have this information in by now. Why? Because I didn’t come out as gay, I came out as bisexual.

Coming out isn’t always as intense as it is portrayed as being.

By:Abraham Blake

I was the tender age of 4 years old when I developed my first crush. I knew that sometimes people felt differently about some people then they did about others, that’s why we have Mommies and Daddies, but this was different. My crush was on a boy. I lived in a small house in a village of less than 100 people located in the Arsehole of Co. Mayo and so, as you can imagine, I HAD NO F*CKING IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON.

“I feel a sense of belonging here that I haven’t yet found anywhere else”

By Anonymous

TW: mentions mental illness, homophobia, bullying

I was about 15 when I came to the realisation that I definitely wasn’t straight. From about the age of about thirteen, I had crushes on both girls and boys, but only the crushes on boys were ever acted upon. I thought that everyone had crushes on girls, seeing as all the magazines like ‘Shout’ etc. talked about ‘girl crushes’ all the time. Everyone looks at girls and wants to hold their hand right? I didn’t even realise what the word bisexual meant until I read another article in a teen magazine talking about girls kissing their friends but not being a lesbian or bisexual-identifying person. I then thought: “Wait people kiss boys AND girls?!”

“I’m relatively happy with myself in this moment of my life, and that is radically different from how it has ever been before”

Content warning: Briefly mentions mental illness

People reading the many wonderful stories on this blog will probably notice that my one is not like the others. All of the other stories concern sexuality and coming out in that respect, which I have very little to say about. My story is about gender identity, and, let’s be honest, you don’t really hear many sincere coming out stories regarding trans* people. The stories you do hear are presented in a very cissexist kind of way. Not to mention that they often fall far too close to the jaded transgender cliché (I am a boy stuck in a girl’s body and I have known this from birth and I cry every day because I am trans and will until I get The Surgery™) which is not just harmful towards popular perceptions of trans* people but is simply inaccurate most of the time.

“I Still Have A Lot Of People To Come Out To… and I Know That When I Do, I Have Plenty Of People Who’ll Help me Along The Way.”

It wasn’t until the age of about 13 or so that I kind of got the idea that I might be bisexual.
I’d always found both boys and girls attractive, but I’d always thought when it came to girls it was more of just an appreciation than actual attraction. That changed one day after I read an article in a magazine, which talked about “women crushes”. Basically it talked about how common it is for girls to find other girls and women beautiful, and talented, and wonderful and all that jazz. As I was reading this I was sitting there thinking, “Oh ok, so this is something all girls feel”. And then I got to the end of the article where it said “Having a ‘woman crush’ is about appreciating another woman, it doesn’t mean you want to kiss or pursue a relationship with them.” Oh. Yeah, no, I definitely wanted to kiss girls.

“Coming Out Has Been A Wild Ride From Start To Finish”

I was 14 when a pretty girl walked into my class and I blanked. I knew I had a crush on her – in fact, I sort of hated myself for it. I did confess to her, eventually, knowing full well that I, a person who wore her heart on her sleeve, could never ever manage to hide the fact I liked her from her. It wasn’t long before the entire class found out – please note, this was an all girls’ Catholic School. You can imagine the repercussions.

It wasn’t until I was 15 that I started dating properly, and met a nice boy and actually dated him for two years. Quite honestly, if anybody asks me about love, to this day I can safely say I was in love with him. But we never did have sex. And it never did amount to much, seeing as we broke up when we were both 17 and realizing that we both wanted two completely different things in life (my sexuality aside, of course).